So much to tell you...

...and I haven't got a clue where to start!

November 1st is going to be a day that I will never forget, not just for myself... but for my sisters, brother and most importantly our 'Miss Bloss' we lost our Dad... Di General, Di big man!! It was crazy hearing that he was in pain but I was just thinking to myself... he'll go hospital, they'll do a few scans to work out where the pain was coming from and get him better... worse case, he'll stay a night or two. Little did I know, Miss Bloss would call us in tears, I'm not even sure what she actually said to me on the phone... but I couldn't believe it... I can't describe the emotion that was running through me at that moment but when I think about it now... I still can't describe it.

I thought my Dad was going to live forever... like he was almost invincible so to even be writing about it now seems so surreal... I can't believe it! It's like... now what?! What do we do now? I've been fortunate enough live and grow with both my parents until I reached the age where I could move out and they get to that time in their lives where they would move back to Jamaica and live out their days and they enjoyed it... They were 'active' up and down the island like they had a car and could drive everywhere... To be honest, that was my Dad when he was here in England, he'd be out almost every weekend and he'd either jump on a bus with his lickle freedom pass lol or have one of his friends come pick him up and they were always willing to do it too... that's what it felt like, everyone was willing to help my Dad out in some way and there's no doubt he did the same for them too because that was the type of person he was... Listen, everyone loved my Dad, seriously! nuff people would come check for him, buy him a drink when they were out...sit down with him and chat for hours about life... He was loved and respected and I feel like I saw that as I was growing up and I definitely saw it after he passed. Dad was a music man, he had a sound back in the day but I thought that was before I was born, or maybe when I was really small but I know he had quite a big record collection which then converted to CDs and even some minidiscs there too... That's where I got my love for music from and I made sure I had a massive collection, by mine was easier to come by because I came from a era of downloading music and collecting from other DJs... My Dad was a Reggae man, he loved it... he had some big tunes and he used to play them weekly in the pub, there was a few that he used to go to not far from where we lived and I'm pretty sure he never played to a empty pub too lol So yeah... It's a definite that my love for music came from him. I used to burn a new CD almost every week so I can play them in my car and thump some bassline as I was driving, I still have so many of them stored under the stairs. The way we listened to music changed and we moved away from CDs to streaming, I still make playlists though and I have a little series of them on my Spotify account (Let me know if you want to listen) Once I made a reggae playlist that I sometimes play, it reminds me of Dad because they were songs I heard from him, I put it together and he liked the selection, I still play it to this day and sometimes it brings me to tears but it's not all tears of sadness because I know he would want to listen to them too and with that I can picture him nodding his head and enjoying it... even singing along to them too Lol. Music is definitely something that will forever be a blessing for me and will always be one way to remember him... just because we share the love for it. Life is going to be very different without my Dad's presence, even though he didn't live here with us, he was only ever a phone call or a whatsapp message away and now we won't be able to reach out to him... but his number is still in my saved under 'Dad JA' I don't think I will ever delete it. I miss him every day and I will keep doing the things that I know would make him proud, even writing this blog... he's read them and liked them... I wish there was a way for me to send him this one since it's mostly about him. He would like it... Definitely!!!